Gravedigger

  The Dave Matthews Band has always been known for writing songs that have such deep meanings that you literally have to read the lyrics numerous times in order to gain a greater appreciation for the song. Their music has always involved controversial topics that give light on issues that our society purposely attempts to avoid.

A short interpretation would encompass the gravedigger symbolizing death. The characters that the band include in the song (both fictional or nonfictional) display the simple fact that regardless of a person’s age: young, middle aged, or old we are all vulnerable to death no matter what. The band includes “Ring Around the Rosy” which is known by so many of us as nothing more than a childhood riddle. I think that it was included with such serious lyrics to mock the idea of our blissfully ignorant views on death as well as include somewhat of a witty anecdote. The history behind this riddle will give more insight. I think that the chorus about the gravedigger (death) digging him a shallow grave so that he can feel the rain implies the existence of life after death. Overall, this song displays the reality of mortality; life is a fragile essence of being and we need to take full advantage of it before the gravedigger digs comes to dig our own grave.

The Dave Matthews Band

Gravedigger

Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913
Made his great-grandchildren believe
you could live to a 100 and 3,
a 100 and 3 is forever when you're just a little kid
so Cyrus Jones lived forever

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Muriel Stonewall 1903 to 1954
She lost both of her babies in the
second great war
Now you should never have to watch
as your only children are lowered in the ground
I mean never have to bury your own babies


Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Ring around the Rosy
Pocket full of posies
ashes to ashes
we all fall down

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
oh, Gravedigger

Little Mikey Parsons, 67 to 75
He rode his bike like the devil until the day he died
When he grows up he wants to be Mr. Vertigo on the flying trapeze
oh, 1940 to 1992

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
I can feel the rain
I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Gravedigger.

(Matthews, 2003)

Reference

Matthews, D. (Composer). (2003). Gravedigger. [D. Matthews, C. Beauford, S. Lessard, B. Tinsley,  Performers, & J. D'earth, Conductor] Charlottesville, VA, US.

Tuesdays with Morrie

After working on this project with Sammee Kleiman, I wanted to just present the movie to everyone and spread the story of such an amazing person! I wish I could have met someone like Morrie before this class, and now after it, I want so badly to find someone. People like Morrie have an amazing way of making you feel like you need to live your life with purpose. After reading the book, and watching the film, I laughed and I cried, but I learned so much about myself. He truly is a person who changes your life!

Watch the first of all of his interviews with Ted Koppel. He is amazing!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcnL2o385Gw

Strange and True Facts about Death

Just some interesting facts about/on death! Enjoy! :)







1) More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

(2) More people are killed each year by coconuts than sharks. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.

(3) You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

(4) Fleas have the distinction of killing more people than all the wars man has ever fought. The "Black Death" plague killed 1/4 of Europe's population in the 14th century, caused by germs transmitted from rodents to humans by fleas.

(5) The animal responsible for the most human deaths worldwide is the mosquito.

(6) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(7) A hundred years ago, the average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven.

(8) Today, only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.

(9) Your statistical chance of being murdered is 1 in 20,000.

(10) There are 5 times as many deaths due to the negligence of doctors as there are deaths due to firearms.

(11) On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

(12) Robert Hershey, of Hershey Chocolate fame, died when he fell into a vat of chocolate and drowned.

(13) Dr. Alice Chase, who wrote "Nutrition for Health" and numerous books on the science of proper eating, died of malnutrition.

(14) Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.

(15) When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed that his small intestine contained five gold Krugerrands.

(16) When Thomas Edison died in 1941; Henry Ford captured his last dying breath in a bottle.

(17) In 1845, President Andrew Jackson's pet parrot was removed from his funeral for swearing.

(18) Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, was present at the assassinations of three presidents: his father's, President Garfield's, and President McKinley's. After the last shooting, he refused ever to attend a state affair again.

(19) When Mark Twain was born on Nov 30, 1835, Halley's comet was visible over Florida, Missouri. Mark Twain predicted in 1909 that he would die when it returned. He was right. When he died on April 21, 1910, Halley's comet was once again visible in the sky.

We All Bleed Red.

Hey guys, I was trying to figure out what my final posting should be about.. And then this new song came on my pandora. It is called "We All Bleed Red" by Robbie Dunn. I have heard this song before, but never made the connection to the true meaning about the song until I just heard it.
The first line of the song is "Let's say we're sorry, before it's too late." In whatever context you take it as, he could be singing about a relationship, religion, or war. I have made the connection to the idea of war and fighting. In general, it is an awakening song about how we are all the same, aside from the stereotypical features. "We all bleed red."
I have always felt a soft spot in community service work and civic engagement efforts, because I always think of how alike our race really is. The only things that differ are our looks, and our beliefs. As some of you may or may not already know, I have started a commitment to the Peace Corps and will continue my studies in Intercultural Relations for my masters. I will be required to study for about 2 years at the University of the Pacific in California, and after that, I will be sent to a host country (hopefully Africa) to live for 27 months and finish up my studies, while actually studying the culture. My main motivation for this dramatic decision is because regardless of our current economic situation in the world, I still do believe peace is achievable. Maybe not in our lifetime, but it can only be reached with effort in understanding the world as a whole, and not as individuals. Moral of the story... I think this song is appropriate and directly relating to me. =]

He said I was in my early forties With a lot of life before me When a moment came that stopped me in my tracks We spent most of the next days Looking at the x-rays Talking about the options And talking about sweet time. I asked him when it sank in That this might be the real end How's it hit you when you get that kind of news Man, what'd you do? He said I went skydiving I went rocky mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu And I loved deeper And I spoke sweeter And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying And he said someday I hope you get the chance To live like you were dying. He said I was finally the husband That most the time I wasn't I became a friend a friend would like to have And all the sudden going fishing Wasn't such an imposition And I went three times that year I lost my dad He said I finally read the Good Book and I took a good long hard look At what I'd do if I could do it all again And then I went skydiving I went rocky mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu And I loved deeper And I spoke sweeter And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying And he said someday I hope you get the chance To live like you were dying. Live like tomorrow was a gift And you got eternity to think about what you'd do with it What did you do with it? Well what could you do with it? Yeah what would you do with it? He said someday I hope you get the chance To live like you were dying. -Tim McGraw; "Live Like You Were Dying" I think this song speaks volumes if we'll let it. So many times we hear things like this, see things like this, and get a mini wake up call, a glimpse of the way things could be, should be... But to have this, we are required to change. A change in thinking. And that requires a change in our actions. And that requires discipline. And that requires diligence. It is my prayer that we no longer just let wake up calls occur and then remain the same -- stagnant. It's time we truly believed that today could be our last day... Because the truth is, death happens whether or not we are ready. Let today be your wake up call. One of these days, tomorrow won't come.

"We're Tuesday People"

I was quite inspired by the group who did their project on Tuesday's with Morrie (thanks, if you're reading this ;)). I read that book quite a while ago and I had forgotten how much I was inspired by the words of wisdom that Morrie offered. I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on my favorite quote from Morrie. "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." This quote is so true, isn't it? I feel like a lot of us are constantly waiting for the next best thing: "If I could just get through this week," "If I could just get through college," "If I could just find my future spouse," THEN life can start. THEN I'll be happy. Pardon my directness, but I agree with Morrie: We've got it all wrong. Take a moment and think about what you want your life to look like in the end. I sure don't want to waste my life being half asleep, waiting for the next bigger and better thing to happen. I want to be content with where I am now, completely satisfied with this moment. I think we need to re-train ourselves on the things that are truly important, and re-train ourselves not to waste THIS moment, THIS week, THIS year. Just think, most of us probably dreamed of being in college since we were youngsters (yes, I did just say youngsters) and now, I'm willing to bet that most of us are wishing we were finished and are ready to start the next season of our lives. If we are not careful, we are going to miss out on everything that is promised to us in this season because we are too busy wishing the next season would start. Let's not be people constantly waiting for the next best thing. Let's make an extra effort to live in the moment. THIS moment. For this moment is all we are promised.

"Promising forever, knowing that this moment might be all we ever find." (Just thought I'd throw in a little Tim McGraw in there, country music anyone?!)

Tuesdays With Morrie Quotes

After doing my project on "Tuesdays With Morrie," I decided to reread the book again. It is one of the most touching books I have ever read. You learn so much from Morrie. I would have loved to meet him, from reading the book I feel as if I already know him. His life lessons have made me realize how we take life for granted, with money, time with friends, and time with yourself. I found this video on YouTube, these are some of the quotes from the book that Morrie had said. They are very uplifting positive way of thinking. I marked some of the pages to reread if I am having a bad day. You should invest in the book and read it, it may make you realize how important life truly is.

Life and Death in one week.

This has been a crazy emotional week for me. I have experienced life and death this week and it has been emotionally rocking. My husband and I found out we were pregnant earlier this week and three days later I realized I am having a miscarriage. It is funny, honestly, how this class has helped me cope with this news. I know its not the same as loosing someone you have known and loved for years and watched them die, but this, to me, is still death. This class has shown me that death is life and its natural, and right now that is calming. I have experienced the deaths of 3 of my grandparents, one of which I was amazingly close to, and this experience has been just as heart wrenching. While death is sad, and most times it doesn't make sense to us, we go on and this class has allowed me to learn how to go on. So, I guess this class has probably taught me more about life than any other class I have ever taken, and I thank everyone for that.

Dear Professor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrisTT8kVrM

This song was shown to me by a close friend. There are little things in this song that make me remind me of my friend. Little things that they say they are 20 years old and class of '08. This is what my friend would want to be playing. She loved fun remixes of songs and find the newest songs before anyone else did. I miss her more and more each day, but listening to music that I know she loved and watching videos of her make things just a little easier!

Over in Ireland

Today, as I was driving to class, I was switching through my radio stations. I landed on BBC Radio on Sirius Radio. I heard them talking about a Police Officer's car being blown up while he was in it. This happened because of his religion, something he believed in. It switched to his mom talking about how horrible this incident was and how she will miss her little boy. I was interested in this. Why do we always have to kill on faith or religion? This is something people choose to believe in. I went and googled the article. I attached this link for anyone who would want to read it. People need to stop killing each other and start loving each other for who each other is. I remember when I was 7 years old and I thought the world was perfect and there weren't any wars, but I was wrong. There was Desert Storm, bombings of embassies, and how can anyone forget the Lewinsky scandals. I don't understand how people think it is okay to blow each other up and get it away with it. We all bleed the same color blood, all have problems, and all have families. We are human beings not toys that people can blow up. http://article.wn.com/view/2011/04/03/US_condemns_murder_of_policeman_in_Northern_Ireland/

Billy Joel - Only the Good Die Young

We were merely freshmen..

If you haven't heard this song in awhile, take the time to listen to it. When I was a kid, I remember liking this song but I never understood the meaning of it until one of my good friends in high school accidentally took his own life by overdosing.
I don't mean to sound cruel or threatening, but think about it.. how many times have you endangered your life by doing stupid things? Have you ever gotten behind the wheel after you had been drinking? Was anyone in the passenger seat? Do you talk on the phone while you drive? How about texting, do you do that while you are doing 50mph? We all commit these crimes without thinking of the deeper consequences.. no one ever thinks about dying on the way home. At most, we worry about getting a pulled over by the cops and getting a DUI, but do you ever worry that you might kill yourself and/or your friends in the car with you?
It is a troubling thought, I know. This song does a good job in portraying young and accidental death by saying "for the life of me, I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins, we were merely freshmen."

2011 Tohoku disaster

My cousin is currently an active Marine, stationed in Japan. When I first heard the news about the earthquake, I was in the gym and the small TV screen in the corner of the room caught my eye. It was the headlining and first reports of the quake.
Since Iain, my cousin, has no direct contact to US I immediately logged on to facebook to see if he was okay, considering that he lives in Sendai, only about 50 miles from the worst. Thank goodness, he and his base were unharmed besides some equipment damage due to flooding.
When I was finally able to talk to him on the phone, he told me that he watched the waves roll in from the top building rooftop. He told me that his first thought was remember the movie "The Day After Tomorrow," and it didn't seem real. After he got it together, all he could think about was how many people were down on ground level, and whether he would be sent as a "rescue"(a search team) or "collect" (a team that takes care of handling the found bodies).
The last news feed I remember hearing about the disaster was a death toll of over 12 thousand people, with 10 thousand still missing. It is a terrifying thought how quickly something can take life away in such great numbers. We always think, "it couldn't happen to me," when in reality I think we all have an equal disadvantage.

5 Stages of Grief in Games

I found this downloadable computer game that won a number of Indie game awards a while back. This game is called Solace, and it is a PC game that tries to not only provide a fun top-down shooting experience, but also to portray the 5 stages of grief through their use of art and music. I thought that this was a very interesting way of putting the 5 stages into a more artistic form, and for all who are interested in trying the game, the download link can be found on their website at http://solacegame.com/ . For those who either do not want to download the game, or are just not into video games, I still recommend watching the video on their home page to get an idea of what kind of work was put into creating this experience.

Ocean Reef Burials

A new-ish cremation memorial option is having your ashes incorporated into a permanent artifical reef. I find this particularly interesting because my great-uncle John Rybovich's ashes were incorporated into a cement mold "memorial reef" and lowered into the ocean. My uncle, a boat-builder, loved everything involving saltwater and was an early proponent for artificial reefs.

The website EternalReefs.com describes the history behind what they call "reef balls":

"Patented mold systems were developed to create reefs that closely mimic natural reef formations. Special design features were included to make it easy for sea life to attach and grow on these designed reef structures. An environmentally friendly concrete formula was developed that would be attractive to the microorganisms to make the new reefs, and reef balls were born.

In 1990, the Reef Ball Development Group and the Reef Ball Foundation completed the first Reef Ball project near Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Since that time, there have been over 3,500 projects worldwide with more than 400,000 Reef Balls placed on the ocean floor. With years of documented history of stability and habitat development, Reef Balls have become the world standard for fisheries programs, coral restoration and habitat development projects."

(Eternal Reefs, INC)

My uncle's reef has been listed under South Florida Dive Sites and Palm Beach County Wrecks since October 7, 1999.

"eternal reef" supporting life

Frank Buckles

A big headline recently was the death of Frank Buckles on February 27th, 2011. He was the last living American veteran of World War I. He was 110 years old when he passed away. He had previously been awarded the World War I Victory Medal and the Army of Occupation of Germany medal.
This death is a humbling one as it reminds us of the lives lost in wars fought for our country, and brings to light the fact that we still have young soldiers fighting in foreign areas for us today.
Frank had what we can deem a full life. He was married in 1946, and had a daughter in 1955. He was a farmer throughout his retirement and became an Honorary Chairman of the World War I Memorial Foundation.
From not knowing him personally, I would like to infer that he had a fulfilled life and ultimately found a "good death". It's by my definition also that those soldiers we have today, fighting for our freedoms are heroes. Their bravery is inspiring and if they are killed fighting for our nation's people, then it should be considered a "good death" and I owe them my humblest gratitude.

How death started

This is a funny explanation for how death started. Its from a movie called Dead Like Me. I saw it on T.V. the other day and immediately thought of our class, and how things like death might be explained to a younger crowd. Its part 1 of the whole movie that is 10 minutes long, but the part I am referring to is from the start til' about 1:30 in. Check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4u6zw7QaWw

Love in the Time of Cholera

I wanted to post this insightful quote from the book Love in the Time of Cholera.

"Age has no reality except in our physical world. The essence of a human being is resistant to the passage of time. Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom."

I had a recent birthday and thought to myself . . damn I am old! But I thought about it some more, and considered the notion that age does not have much bearing on "essence" and "spirit". Even though the physical world is the most obvious and alot of times the most prominent part of life, there are other aspects that may be more important.

The other part(next sentence) of the quote I left out because its relation to death and dying is not as direct. But its nice, so here it is "Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the alpha and omega. An end in itself."

Death of an FGCU student

I'm sure everyone has recieved the email stating that another FGCU student has died in a car accident. He was accompanied by 3 other people and I'm sure that they were all friends. Although I had never met him, I'm sure we all have sympathy for Andrew Monroe, as well as his friends and family and they will remain in our prayers for days to come. It is sad to think that such a young life can be ended in the blink of an eye and for no apparent reason, which is why we should always be prepared to experience unexpected tragedy.

If I Die Young

Touched by an Angel

Not many people are lucky enough to be touched by an angel, but I got to spend 3 short years with an amazing friend, sister, and angel. This angel was my first friend in my organzation. She taught me how to break out of my shell and make friends. She always tried her hardest to include me in everything that she did from events to just movie nights with the girls. She made me fall in love with my organization.

Although, we grew apart for a while, when I saw her at events or just walking through the hall we would stop and catch up. This would always make us late to class. She was there for me when I was going through hard times. She held my hand when we went out, she could tell just by looking at me that I was going to cry. I never thanked her for being there for me, for being strong for me. Now it is my turn to be strong for her.

The hardest thing to hear is that someone has past away, but when the person is still so young and has everything going for them makes everything harder. Days before she passed I spent a lot of time with her, enjoying time with the girls. From seeing her the last few days, I knew she was happy with her life, she even said that she had everything that she could ever want.

I didn't know if I could write about this amazing person and as I write this I still find it hard to get all my thoughts out. I look at Facebook and see pictures of her and people writing on her wall and I feel like she is still here. It is so unreal to me that this angel was taken from us so early. I still feel like I will see her at events, meetings , or at girls's houses. All I know is that she made me want to be a better person. I can truly say I was touched by an angel.

Better off Dead

Death is usually looked upon as a bad thing. The term I would be better off dead is widely used but rarely do we think it is the case. In the movie Gladiator Maximus the main character goes from a general, to a slave, to a gladiator who becomes a voice more powerful than the empire. He achieves this by sending others to the grave in battle, and in certain cases by refusing to send them to the grave when told to do so by the king who would either give a "thumbs up" or thumbs down". I think the interesting part is that Maximus gained more respect by not taking someones life when told to do so, rather than taking a life. By respecting someone elses life I think he earned the respect of others to respect his life. In the movie his son and wife are murdered, towards the end of the movie he gets wounded in an epic battle. He defeats his opponent but suffers battle wounds which to me seemed as though he could recover from them. After the battle he falls to his knees and has flashbacks of his wife and son. In his visions he was being reunited with his family. It seemed to me that he had given up the will to live and was better off dead, because by dying he would be reunited with his family.

Corrina, Corrina- my version

I can still picture her face to this day. She had short golden hair, with blue eyes like mine. She had a smile that would melt anger, and a heart that could warm a room. She was a beauty queen of the 40’s, a WWII housewife, and mother of four very different girls. Her name was Margaret. She was my grandmother, and she really was beautiful.

She died a month before I turned four, and four months before my oldest sister’s wedding. She was healthy one day, and the next day in a diabetic coma. After a day in a coma, she woke to say goodbye, telling everyone that her sister Rita was there to travel with her. Rita had died at age 30, three decades before, of a brain aneurysm. Grandma told Grandpa that he needed to make sure her bag was packed for the trip. Grandma Marge’s death came so quickly that my family was left in shock and chaos.

I remember sitting on the family room couch of my Ohio home, in 1991, with my mother. I remember her tears and cries were filled with such immense pain, that a four year old would obviously not understand. I asked her if I should cry to. Mommy said, “ You can cry if you feel like it.” I didn’t. Grandma’s funeral was calm and quiet, from what I remember. Two of my cousins, both four and five years old, and I walked up to her casket alone to say goodbye. They both gave her kisses and talked to her. I was the quiet one. I was too afraid to say goodbye, because I really did not know what that meant. As a child, I did not understand why she left us.

Not long after the funeral, my mother and I began visiting my grandparents house. Grandpa had begun to drown himself in the Masonic Lodge and his lumber business, so the house stood without life. Mommy and I would walk into the house, loudly yelling upstairs, “Hello Grandma! We’re here!” Believe it or not, that comforted me knowing that she was still with us, only in a different way. Her brush was in the same place, her perfume bottles went untouched, and her clothes still had her smell lingering on them. Mom and I would open her closets and take handfuls of dresses and press them to our noses. It may sound odd, but we loved her that much.

Not long ago, Professor Cox mentioned something about how childhood grief can come back and hit you in adulthood. Well, this past year, I was slapped with an overwhelming sense of grief. Everything I write about, is about her or the things she loved most- butterflies.

My mother eventually introduced me to Corrina, Corrina at a young age. I sympathized with Molly. I even went through a similar grief process that she went through. To this day, I still try to blow out the red lights. In a way, I sound crazy, but really, it is just something that has comforted me and help me cope with things that I learned at a very young age.

I’m sorry I wrote “a book”. I could go on and on, but I know it may be too much for a blog. If you have any similar stories that you could share, that would be great. Are you dealing with repressed childhood grief like I am?

Humor in Death

Kind of a cliche title, I know. But after watching Corrina, Corrina in this class, and Life is Beautiful in my Senior Seminar class, I can't help but point out the obvious. In the movie we watched in this class, humor is not directly aimed at the death of Molly's mother, but the movie itself is considered a comedy. A comedy about death and people in grieving? As a communication major, we would call that modern-day taboo. But speaking in nontechnical terms, it was an awesome movie with a great message that did not seem offensive or taboo in any way.
If anyone has not seen the movie Life is Beautiful (Le Vie Est Bella!), I would highly recommend it. Yes, it is one of those foreign language movies (Italian) but if you take the time to sit through the subtitles, you will gain nothing but respect. This movie also presents humor, but in a different manner than Corrina, Corrina. The characters and main setting in this movie are in a Jewish Concentration Camp. To explain these dramatic measures to his young son, the father tells his son that they are entered into a game (the holocaust), and that if they win (survive), the grand prize will be an army Tank. Throughout the whole movie, the father hides all of the actualities of their fate in this camp, and tries to spin them off as competitions that he and his son must defeat so they can earn more "points" than the other players (prisoners) and be put ahead of the game. It really is a comical adventure, and in every way possible, this movie is taboo. It unquestionably makes fun of possible death and the holocaust. The father is pulling this comedy skit up until the very end of his life, which is sacrificed for his sons safety and freedom.
So when we think that the words "funny," "happy," or "silly,"cannot be related to death, I do not think that it is fair. Not all death or dying situations have to be dark. Sad of course, but there can be light found in anything, even in grieving.

Simply Mortal

Being mortal really puts an emphasis on life. Life is like a timeline, the time you spend reading this has already passed. theres no going back only moving forward to what might come. I remember watching the movie Troy and there was an interesting view Achillies presents about the gods. Achillies says that "the gods envy us. They envy us because we are mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because were doomed. you will never be lovelier than you are now and we will never be here again". Being mortal can be a rush, pushing the limits and not knowing if your going to make it out alive can be exhilarating. Ive been in situations that could have resulted in serious injurys or death, and when I made it out ive never felt so alive. Its an incredible feeling thats almost addicting, it makes me want to push the envelope.

A Genuine Man

On February 11th 2011,
my grandfather passed away.
He technically wasn't a blood relative. My "real" grandfather had left while my father was still a boy. David stepped in later on in my Nana's life. Like a knight in shining armour kind of way. David had experienced his own loss, a man who's child and wife had both died some years before. But he met my Nana and they spent 15 years together in partnership before her passing five years ago, and became the man I (and my family) knew and welcomed as our own.
It's difficult to write words such as spent ,and had, in reference to anyone, but for those people closest to us it's a million times worse. The past tense makes it so final.
While he lives far away, I was unable to visit the man that had brought so much joy to my family in his remaining time. I will always regret that. Even now I realize I used the word lives in the previous sentence. He spent his remaining years alone in a nursing home, missing his past. The few letters I sent him, now just don't seem like enough.
After taking this course I realized how important social contact is to those of us having to say goodbye. And I wish I could have been there with my family to hold David's hand and talk to him about my Nana and his beautiful rose garden. His funeral will be held later this month with flowers from my parents and myself, as well as a bouquet from my Nana.
David was a genuinely nice man. He was a man always willing to listen and show compassion. Thanks for being a part of my family David. You will be missed.

New Orleans Cemeteries

Image from: http://allthingsneworleans.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/new-orleans-lano148.jpg

A couple weeks ago we learned about the “New Orleans Jazz Funeral” tradition. This cultural tradition is fairly unique to the area, and some people may be confused by the different emotions shown at this funeral compared to the usual somber funerals.

I attended a conference in New Orleans this past November, and on the way to the hotel, our bus driver was giving the passengers somewhat of a tour. The football stadium had been painted, the Saint’s were playing, and the cemetery is above ground… wait, what?! As we passed by a large cemetery, I saw the thousands of memorials and what looked like sarcophagi in rows upon rows. The driver explained that since New Orleans is below sea level, people cannot be buried in the ground, or else the coffins would rise out of the ground. I personally found this unsettling, and tried to get my mind off of the topic. Although it is different, I thought I would share this with you.

I did do some research, and apparently the driver was a little off- the coffins would not rise out of the ground, but instead they would fill with water and the remains would give off fumes. This led to city rules that required (in most cases) for people to be buried aboveground. I found a link that explains more about the New Orleans cemeteries if you would like to learn more: http://www.nolacemeteries.com/

Death & dying quotes

Some quotes on death and dying I find interesting.

"We all die. The goal isnt to live forever, the goal is to create something that will"
Chuck Palahniuk

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live"
Norman Cousins

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die"
Robert Cody

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever"
Mahatma Ghandi

"Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist" Epicurus

"While I though that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die"
Leonardo Da Vinci

"As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death"
Leonardo Da Vinci

"Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live"
Henry Van Dyke

"To Die will be an awfully big adventure"
James Barrie

"You cant get out of life alive"
Les Brown

Mr. Death

This is in response to the Twilight Zone episode that we previously watched in class called "Nothing in the Dark."

This short episode revolves around the most fearful things known to man: the unknown. The little old lady (main character) has remained shacked up for years in a dark room that she calls a home. Afraid that "Mr. Death" will surely claim her life if she gives him an opportunity, she refuses to communicate with the world and objects to see the day of light. In my personal opinion, the miserable fear that she lived in, was not a life worth living for. She spent all of her days scared of what might come for her, which held her captive in a dead-life. As she was describing what Mr. Death was, all I could think about were those stupid Final Destination movies...... Although most of the charcters throughout that series ended up dying, the main characters knew that death was out there waiting to reach them, and lived in fear also (not as extreme as the little old lady's, of course).

These two examples of living in fear kind of raise a question in my mind: is death really that scary? When we relate death to the idea of movies like Final Destination and that there is no way to cheat death, it is scary. But when we compare the idea of dying to Mr. Death who painlessly takes the old lady to a better place, it isn't all that scary.

Hachi - A Tale of Loyalty

We mentioned this film in class discussion, Hachi A Dog's Story. It is the true story of one dog's loyalty and love for his master. I watched this movie over winter break and it brought me to tears throughout. It truly depicts companionship and love in its purest form. Death is more about the people we leave behind and Hachi's never yielding devotion to his deceased master is an example of a deep bond that cannot be broken even by death.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6U7mAnPtw4

A beautiful death

Lifes final exam 300 reminded me of the movie 300 and when they were talking about a beautiful death. If you havent seen the movie basicallly dying on the battle field is the most honorable way to die in their culture. Meeting their match and dying fighting for what they believe in is sought after by the Spartan soldiers. I can relate this to our fellow Americans who die fighting for our country. What it all comes down to is that they are fighting for this country and our freedom, which isnt free at all. I am thankful for every person that serves for our country.

Heres a short clip from the movie referring to a beautiful death

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeFiwYQtGp0

Last Kiss - Pearl Jam

Ignoring

Since the beginning of this class, I realized just how much I have ignored death and dying. It has always been something I had preferred not wasting too much time thinking about. Quite frankly, it did and still does scare me. Now, however, twice a week I am reminded of it. I am a biology major so this class is far from what I usually have in my major. It is so thought provoking, I am really enjoying it.

After graduating from high school, I worked in the Geriatrics section of a hospital. Although you would think that I would have experienced death several times. I only had one patient die under our care and it was during a shift where I wasn't working. I was so confused that day when I cam in and heard that one of my favorite patients had passed away. After reading Gone from my Sight I finally understood the signs. She had been begun the dying process for a while. She wouldn't eat and I thought that was because she was senile and not hungry. She wouldn't speak and was unhappy with most of the nurses but she would always smile when I was taking care of her. I thought she was just senile and no longer coherent. Besides that she seemed fine, so I was very confused by her death. Now I finally understand.

Quotes on death

"People living deeply have no fear of death" ~ Anais Nin
"Every man dies- Not every man really lives." ~ William Ross Wallace


These meant something to me as I read them, they reiterate the importance of living a full and happy life. Making sure we do all we can do is something alot of people take for granted. We talked about a "good death" the other day in class and I think for me a good death would be to have experienced a great deal, to have made a mark on someone (even if it is just my husband or children) to know I was able to become the person I always wanted to be, I think if I could accomplish that I would have a very good death. I think we push so hard for academic, occupational and superficial achievements that we really loose sight of living. We don't see the world as precious or our time on it as limited. Life is important, but it is not until we are facing death that we realize how important it is.
Jacquelyn Richardson

Coping and Common Stages

Although the circumstances are different in each case, being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness or dealing with the death of someone close both involve a set of stages. These five stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The creator of this model, Kübler-Ross, outlined these stages not as a guideline of what a person needs to fulfill to complete their grieving, but rather as a reference for caretakers to understand what the individual is going through. In this way, although it is often written in the order listed above, people will often re-visit stages and even be in multiple stages at once (DeSpelder & Strickland, 2011).

It is natural for someone to express their emotions when they are faced with a situation where their longevity is shortened by illness. My personal experience with the sudden loss of someone close (my grandfather) has also helped me to understand that coping is not the same for everyone. However, I feel that these stages are important to know, not only so that we may better understand why we respond the way we do, but also to be able to help others dealing with times of grief. Oftentimes groups experiencing grief together are able to comfort each other, largely because they are able to sympathize because it affects them similarly. An outsider is also able to comfort those grieving as long as they can show compassion and support.

This short video from the cartoon, Robot Chicken, portrays these stages in a comical and exaggerated way. A giraffe stuck in a life-threatening situation rapidly goes through the 5 stages.

Untimely Deaths

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21003333101781/


My mom informed me of this news story from back home in Miami. She called me the other day when it took place really upset. Two Miami-Dade police officers were shot and killed by a 23 year old man with a 5 page record that began when he was at the mere age of 14 (which is the age of the 7th graders that she teaches). Immediately after he killed the officers, another officer came and shot him. I told my mom how Professor Cox and our class recently had a discussion about "good deaths." Although I do not wish death on anyone, I think the police murderer deserved to be killed, especially since he was not a saint or suffering from a mental disability/diagnosis. My explanation to my mom intrigued her. I think she was just so disturbed by the story and the fact that the officers left behind families and children of their own.

My beloved aunts

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/fire/article1019848.ece

At the website above, you can read about my Aunt Cristal's death two summers ago. We miss her so much and my heart aches to know that she had to leave us that way.

Sadly, she was an alcoholic. The night of her death, she passed out in her chair in the living room, with a cigarette in hand. As disturbing as some of these details are for me to write about, I feel like I should share this. The firefighters said that her body was face down in front of the chair in the form of ash. The cigarette must have fell to the floor as she passed out and it lit the house on fire. They said she probably woke up, inhaling the thick smoke and tried to escape but just fell forward.

My family heard of her death on a news broadcast.

A few days later, my mom, aunt, stepdad and grandparents and myself went to visit the house to see what was left. We hoped to find old pictures and memories so that we could remember her always. I shoveled through ash, dirt and piles of debris to try to find what was left of my aunt in the house and that is something I will never forget. She will be forever missed.


A few months ago, in November 2010, my Aunt Rhoda, my mom's other sister, lost her battle to breast cancer. Our family had time to prepare for her death, spending a lot of time by her side (which was very different from Aunt Cristal's death).

You never think things like this will happen to you or your family members but it's a fact: everyone goes when its their time to go. God doesn't always take them away at the perfect time but we will see them again and that is what we have to hold onto. I think we all just need to remember that we should live each day like it is our last, spending time with our dearest loved ones and cherishing every moment.

R.I.P Aunt Cristal & Aunt Rhoda- our two beautiful angels in heaven <3

96%

"If you could be told the exact time of your death, would you really want to know? According to an anonymous survey quoted in Rob Reiner’s new film, The Bucket List, 96 percent of people answer with a resounding no." - http://www.suite101.com/content/the-bucket-list-2007-review-a44221

The other 4% said yes . . .What would you answer to this? (I hope the statistics wont effect your answer. That being said I still thought they should be shared anyways)

Me - "No, I would not want this information. *laughing to myself* "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." This simple statement from a simple man is so true. Really, this(Gump quote) is all that I live for in a sense. Don't take it the wrong way. . . plans and structure are essential in life and will keep you necessarily grounded and efficient. But I still cherish the unknown chocolates of my life way more than the the expected or planned parts of it. I just hope I don't unwrap a coconut one today! Haha. It may sound weird, but I know that I will surely die. . . and not knowing when or how is pretty sweet! And I wouldnt change that even if I could."

Song: Shadow of the Day

"Shadow of the Day" by Linkin Park

1968 King Assassination Report (CBS News)

I thought this was somewhat appropriate considering the day. I thought it was interesting that even though they are talking about his death, they keep bringing up his life and how he lived his life and what he stood for. I think that we should remember how people lived and not how they died. MLK Jr. lived for peace and justice and died in violence and hate, but what subsequent generations have learned and remembered was his true alligence to justice and his undying pursuit for equality. ~ Jacquelyn Richardson

The Death Clock

Check out the death clock Website http://www.deathclock.com/ A tool for those who take planning ahead to the extreme!

After a promising junior season as a - 11.29.10 - SI Vault

Here is an inspiring story of a student athlete's battle with cancer, as reported by Chris Ballard. It appeared in Sports Illustrated magazine.

After a promising junior season as a - 11.29.10 - SI Vault

We Miss You. DMX ft Aaliyah R.I.P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps-cCKetHaA

Personal Death Experience

A 16-year-old Lehigh boy accidentally shot himself Wednesday and died.
An autopsy will be performed on Jonathan J. Blass of 104 Hamilton Avenue.

Jonathan Blass

The sheriff's office responded to a call at 2:29 on Wednesday. The caller said that his friend had accidentally shot himself. Blass was a student at Lehigh Senior High School. When Sheriff's deputies arrived, they found Blass on the floor of a bedroom in a home in the 4300 block of 11th Street West, off Gunnery Road in Lehigh Acres. He had a revolver in his lap and what appeared to be a bullet hole in his right temple.
EMS determined he died about 2:40 p.m. Homicide detectives and crime scene technicians are investigating the incident, and they questioned two friends who were with Blass at the time of the shooting. One is 17-year-old Lehigh Senior High School student, the other is an 18-year-old student at Richard Milborn Academy. The incident occurred at a residence in the 4300 block of 11th Street West, off Gunnery Road in Lehigh Acres. The body has been turned over to the District 21 Medical Examiner. Blass has been in and out of juvenile justice system in the past two years. He had been arrested on four occasions in Lee County, according to jail records. He had been charged with six different felonies which included charges of robbery and burglary. All of the incidents had been without a weapon, according to jail records. Blass went by the name of J-Money.

... This was my best friend in high school. When he died it was a very traumatic experience for me. I got this article from naplesnews.com. The fact that they mentioned his criminal record never made sense to me because it had nothing to do with the circumstances that led to his death. I think one of the main reasons why it has been so difficult for me throughout all of these years to get over his death is the fact that regardless of the bad decisions he made for himself, he always tried his best to make sure that I made the best decisions for myself. He got me through one of the toughest times in my life and its sad to think that he will never be able to meet my daughter.
-Kimmy

The Parable of the Twins

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed with joy.

"Isn't it great that we were conceived? Isn't it great to be alive"?

Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother's cord that gave them life, they sang for joy. "How great is our mother's love that she shares her own life with us"?

As the weeks turned into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing.

"What does this mean," asked the one.

"It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end," answered the other.

"But, I don't want to go," said the one. "I want to stay here always."

"We have no choice," said the other. "But maybe there is life after birth."

"But, how can it be," responded the one. "We will shed our life cord and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth."

As so the one fell into a deep despair, saying, "If conception ends with birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb. It's meaningless! Maybe, there is no mother at all."

"But there has to be," protested the other. "How else did we get here. How do we remain alive?"

"Have you ever seen our mother," said the one. "Maybe she just lives in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good."

And, so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear and finally, the moment of birth arrived.

When the twins were born and passed from their world inside the womb, they opened their eyes and cried for what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.

A famous engraving

This is an engraving done by artist John Sartain in 1865. The engraving depicts Abraham Lincoln being welcomed into heaven by George Washington.

Humorous Epitaphs from Gravestones

From a New Mexico Cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

From a Uniontown, PA Cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

From a Richmond, VA Cemetery:

She always said her feet were killing her
But nobody believed her.

From a Ribbesford, England Cemetery:

The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord send them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife
And the devil sent him Anna.

From an Enosberg Falls, VT Cemetery:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.