Ignoring

Since the beginning of this class, I realized just how much I have ignored death and dying. It has always been something I had preferred not wasting too much time thinking about. Quite frankly, it did and still does scare me. Now, however, twice a week I am reminded of it. I am a biology major so this class is far from what I usually have in my major. It is so thought provoking, I am really enjoying it.

After graduating from high school, I worked in the Geriatrics section of a hospital. Although you would think that I would have experienced death several times. I only had one patient die under our care and it was during a shift where I wasn't working. I was so confused that day when I cam in and heard that one of my favorite patients had passed away. After reading Gone from my Sight I finally understood the signs. She had been begun the dying process for a while. She wouldn't eat and I thought that was because she was senile and not hungry. She wouldn't speak and was unhappy with most of the nurses but she would always smile when I was taking care of her. I thought she was just senile and no longer coherent. Besides that she seemed fine, so I was very confused by her death. Now I finally understand.

Quotes on death

"People living deeply have no fear of death" ~ Anais Nin
"Every man dies- Not every man really lives." ~ William Ross Wallace


These meant something to me as I read them, they reiterate the importance of living a full and happy life. Making sure we do all we can do is something alot of people take for granted. We talked about a "good death" the other day in class and I think for me a good death would be to have experienced a great deal, to have made a mark on someone (even if it is just my husband or children) to know I was able to become the person I always wanted to be, I think if I could accomplish that I would have a very good death. I think we push so hard for academic, occupational and superficial achievements that we really loose sight of living. We don't see the world as precious or our time on it as limited. Life is important, but it is not until we are facing death that we realize how important it is.
Jacquelyn Richardson

Coping and Common Stages

Although the circumstances are different in each case, being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness or dealing with the death of someone close both involve a set of stages. These five stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The creator of this model, Kübler-Ross, outlined these stages not as a guideline of what a person needs to fulfill to complete their grieving, but rather as a reference for caretakers to understand what the individual is going through. In this way, although it is often written in the order listed above, people will often re-visit stages and even be in multiple stages at once (DeSpelder & Strickland, 2011).

It is natural for someone to express their emotions when they are faced with a situation where their longevity is shortened by illness. My personal experience with the sudden loss of someone close (my grandfather) has also helped me to understand that coping is not the same for everyone. However, I feel that these stages are important to know, not only so that we may better understand why we respond the way we do, but also to be able to help others dealing with times of grief. Oftentimes groups experiencing grief together are able to comfort each other, largely because they are able to sympathize because it affects them similarly. An outsider is also able to comfort those grieving as long as they can show compassion and support.

This short video from the cartoon, Robot Chicken, portrays these stages in a comical and exaggerated way. A giraffe stuck in a life-threatening situation rapidly goes through the 5 stages.

Untimely Deaths

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21003333101781/


My mom informed me of this news story from back home in Miami. She called me the other day when it took place really upset. Two Miami-Dade police officers were shot and killed by a 23 year old man with a 5 page record that began when he was at the mere age of 14 (which is the age of the 7th graders that she teaches). Immediately after he killed the officers, another officer came and shot him. I told my mom how Professor Cox and our class recently had a discussion about "good deaths." Although I do not wish death on anyone, I think the police murderer deserved to be killed, especially since he was not a saint or suffering from a mental disability/diagnosis. My explanation to my mom intrigued her. I think she was just so disturbed by the story and the fact that the officers left behind families and children of their own.

My beloved aunts

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/fire/article1019848.ece

At the website above, you can read about my Aunt Cristal's death two summers ago. We miss her so much and my heart aches to know that she had to leave us that way.

Sadly, she was an alcoholic. The night of her death, she passed out in her chair in the living room, with a cigarette in hand. As disturbing as some of these details are for me to write about, I feel like I should share this. The firefighters said that her body was face down in front of the chair in the form of ash. The cigarette must have fell to the floor as she passed out and it lit the house on fire. They said she probably woke up, inhaling the thick smoke and tried to escape but just fell forward.

My family heard of her death on a news broadcast.

A few days later, my mom, aunt, stepdad and grandparents and myself went to visit the house to see what was left. We hoped to find old pictures and memories so that we could remember her always. I shoveled through ash, dirt and piles of debris to try to find what was left of my aunt in the house and that is something I will never forget. She will be forever missed.


A few months ago, in November 2010, my Aunt Rhoda, my mom's other sister, lost her battle to breast cancer. Our family had time to prepare for her death, spending a lot of time by her side (which was very different from Aunt Cristal's death).

You never think things like this will happen to you or your family members but it's a fact: everyone goes when its their time to go. God doesn't always take them away at the perfect time but we will see them again and that is what we have to hold onto. I think we all just need to remember that we should live each day like it is our last, spending time with our dearest loved ones and cherishing every moment.

R.I.P Aunt Cristal & Aunt Rhoda- our two beautiful angels in heaven <3

96%

"If you could be told the exact time of your death, would you really want to know? According to an anonymous survey quoted in Rob Reiner’s new film, The Bucket List, 96 percent of people answer with a resounding no." - http://www.suite101.com/content/the-bucket-list-2007-review-a44221

The other 4% said yes . . .What would you answer to this? (I hope the statistics wont effect your answer. That being said I still thought they should be shared anyways)

Me - "No, I would not want this information. *laughing to myself* "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." This simple statement from a simple man is so true. Really, this(Gump quote) is all that I live for in a sense. Don't take it the wrong way. . . plans and structure are essential in life and will keep you necessarily grounded and efficient. But I still cherish the unknown chocolates of my life way more than the the expected or planned parts of it. I just hope I don't unwrap a coconut one today! Haha. It may sound weird, but I know that I will surely die. . . and not knowing when or how is pretty sweet! And I wouldnt change that even if I could."

Song: Shadow of the Day

"Shadow of the Day" by Linkin Park

1968 King Assassination Report (CBS News)

I thought this was somewhat appropriate considering the day. I thought it was interesting that even though they are talking about his death, they keep bringing up his life and how he lived his life and what he stood for. I think that we should remember how people lived and not how they died. MLK Jr. lived for peace and justice and died in violence and hate, but what subsequent generations have learned and remembered was his true alligence to justice and his undying pursuit for equality. ~ Jacquelyn Richardson

The Death Clock

Check out the death clock Website http://www.deathclock.com/ A tool for those who take planning ahead to the extreme!

After a promising junior season as a - 11.29.10 - SI Vault

Here is an inspiring story of a student athlete's battle with cancer, as reported by Chris Ballard. It appeared in Sports Illustrated magazine.

After a promising junior season as a - 11.29.10 - SI Vault

We Miss You. DMX ft Aaliyah R.I.P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps-cCKetHaA

Personal Death Experience

A 16-year-old Lehigh boy accidentally shot himself Wednesday and died.
An autopsy will be performed on Jonathan J. Blass of 104 Hamilton Avenue.

Jonathan Blass

The sheriff's office responded to a call at 2:29 on Wednesday. The caller said that his friend had accidentally shot himself. Blass was a student at Lehigh Senior High School. When Sheriff's deputies arrived, they found Blass on the floor of a bedroom in a home in the 4300 block of 11th Street West, off Gunnery Road in Lehigh Acres. He had a revolver in his lap and what appeared to be a bullet hole in his right temple.
EMS determined he died about 2:40 p.m. Homicide detectives and crime scene technicians are investigating the incident, and they questioned two friends who were with Blass at the time of the shooting. One is 17-year-old Lehigh Senior High School student, the other is an 18-year-old student at Richard Milborn Academy. The incident occurred at a residence in the 4300 block of 11th Street West, off Gunnery Road in Lehigh Acres. The body has been turned over to the District 21 Medical Examiner. Blass has been in and out of juvenile justice system in the past two years. He had been arrested on four occasions in Lee County, according to jail records. He had been charged with six different felonies which included charges of robbery and burglary. All of the incidents had been without a weapon, according to jail records. Blass went by the name of J-Money.

... This was my best friend in high school. When he died it was a very traumatic experience for me. I got this article from naplesnews.com. The fact that they mentioned his criminal record never made sense to me because it had nothing to do with the circumstances that led to his death. I think one of the main reasons why it has been so difficult for me throughout all of these years to get over his death is the fact that regardless of the bad decisions he made for himself, he always tried his best to make sure that I made the best decisions for myself. He got me through one of the toughest times in my life and its sad to think that he will never be able to meet my daughter.
-Kimmy

The Parable of the Twins

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed with joy.

"Isn't it great that we were conceived? Isn't it great to be alive"?

Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother's cord that gave them life, they sang for joy. "How great is our mother's love that she shares her own life with us"?

As the weeks turned into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing.

"What does this mean," asked the one.

"It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end," answered the other.

"But, I don't want to go," said the one. "I want to stay here always."

"We have no choice," said the other. "But maybe there is life after birth."

"But, how can it be," responded the one. "We will shed our life cord and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth."

As so the one fell into a deep despair, saying, "If conception ends with birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb. It's meaningless! Maybe, there is no mother at all."

"But there has to be," protested the other. "How else did we get here. How do we remain alive?"

"Have you ever seen our mother," said the one. "Maybe she just lives in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good."

And, so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear and finally, the moment of birth arrived.

When the twins were born and passed from their world inside the womb, they opened their eyes and cried for what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.

A famous engraving

This is an engraving done by artist John Sartain in 1865. The engraving depicts Abraham Lincoln being welcomed into heaven by George Washington.

Humorous Epitaphs from Gravestones

From a New Mexico Cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

From a Uniontown, PA Cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

From a Richmond, VA Cemetery:

She always said her feet were killing her
But nobody believed her.

From a Ribbesford, England Cemetery:

The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord send them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife
And the devil sent him Anna.

From an Enosberg Falls, VT Cemetery:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.